![]() And he started with a film that was in the can even before 1982’s Parasite – the Robert Ginty-starring The Alchemist.Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is the science fiction battle of the ages with giant Cyclopes and intergalactic magician in this futuristic adventure set on the desert planet of Lemuria. Instead, this would be his final film released before the creation of Empire International Pictures. Over the next five years he would be responsible for dozens of science fiction, horror, and fantasy films being released into our hot, greedy hands. If Metalstorm was a massive financial success, perhaps Band would have gained a level of cache that would mean that creating his own distribution company wouldn’t be necessary. As is, where the film should have been peaking, it completely falls off a cliff.īut perhaps it was all for the best. While this obviously anticipates a sequel, the less than stellar box-office reception for Metalstorm meant that it was never to materialize. Instead, he uses his magic to open a strange portal and vanishes into nothingness. Despite the title, there is no destruction of Jared-Syn. The final confrontation is underwhelming, not just because of the dodgy skybike sequence, but also because we’re given a thoroughly anticlimactic ending. Which is why the film only slows down once it has to focus on its straightforward plot. These brief, imaginative diversions are infinitely more interesting than the central conflict between Dogen and (bland, hammy) Jared-Syn. The pair escape this danger only to fall into the hands of Hurok and his men, which of course leads to a one-on-one sai fight between Dogen and Hurok. Not only that, but the quicksand is full of mutant worms intent on eating our two heroes. Things appear to be going hunky dory, until the desert sand starts to give way. My personal favorite involves Dogen and Rhodes scouring a desert for an ancient Cyclopian mask. But, this is a Charles Band movie, so there’s still plenty of explosions and weird creatures to look at. ![]() The special effects are a mixed bag, with many of the physical effects still looking quite slick, but anything involving flying skybikes appearing closer to Superman IV than Return of the Jedi. ![]() Baal, Rhodes, and Hurok are so much more interesting than our lead characters and their boring relationship, and thankfully the movie seems to realize that and separates our main pair for most of the movie. He also gets that arm entirely ripped off by Dogen in one of those moments that might have helped Metalstorm get a PG-13 rating if it was released a year later. For instance, Jared-Syn’s son Baal could have easily been a generically menacing Darth Vader riff, but here he has a retractable robot arm that shoots acid and he speaks through a processed monotone. Yeah, there’s all sorts of crazy crap peppering Metalstorm, and that throw-everything-at-the-wall attitude is what makes it a cut above a lot of the competing space fantasy littering the cinemas in the early 80s. After Rhodes is injured, Dogen confronts Jared-Syn in a “Skybike” battle with the fate of Lemuria on the line. Along the way, the pair almost sink in quicksand, are attacked by underground worm-creatures, and Dogen has to battle nomad leader Hurok (Richard Moll) for both of their lives. ![]() The two join forces, but Dhyana is soon spirited away by Jared-Syn magic, leaving Dogen to seek out alcoholic ex-soldier Rhodes (Tim Thomerson) to help him find his way to Jared-Syn’s encampment. Scouring the wasteland, he comes upon Dhyana (Kelly Preston), who has just seen her father murdered by the half-cyborg Baal, who also happens to be Jared-Syn’s son. Jeffrey Byron plays Dogen, a “space ranger” searching for the magical intergalactic criminal Jared-Syn ( The Road Warrior‘s Michael Preston) on the desert planet Lemuria. Of course it all fizzles out well before the end credits hit, but until then there’s plenty of big, goofy comic-book fun. Instead, it leans into its mix of fantasy and sci-fi cliches, with a dash of Max Max for good measure, and is gleefully confusing, strange and very entertaining. Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (mostly) succeeds because even in its mulligan stew of creatures, magic and explosions it never seems embarrassed by its own goofiness. Many films tried to capture the balance of world(s) building, mythology and special effects that turned Star Wars (and its sequels) into such massive cultural institutions, but most featured shoddy effects ( The Shape of Things to Come), were hopelessly derivative ( Star Crash) or were totally insane ( Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam, aka Turkish Star Wars). ![]() THE DAWNING OF AN EMPIRE – METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN (1983) ![]()
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